I took the mushrooms at 3:15 in the afternoon, on a perfect sunny Friday, while listening to Ben Kweller and chilling with Mike, Lucy, and Tarek. Expectations were positive, and I had a really good attitude going into it. I started to feel a little weird about half an hour later, and went outside to climb a tree and watch people from above. The first thing I noticed was an intensity in color. At points, I would look around and see only what was green- everything green seemed so rich and alive. Another half an hour and I was seven years old again. I ran around, loving the way my body could move, and just felt entirely comfortable in my skin. I went to the picnic table and started eating candy, just tasting it and spitting it back out. Everything was very playful and my manner was extremely sweet. Dan Zoli pretended to be a hobbit and I chased him around, laughing completely without a care in the world, jumping on tables and just being a kid.
I wanted to explore everything, and every color and image I looked at seemed to me like the first time I had seen it. I met Hanna’s sister, Lucy, and we bonded instantly. Part of it was that she is so much like Hanna, so I felt completely at ease. As a matter of fact, I felt completely at ease with everyone. I couldn’t stop smiling and laughing, just feeling like I was as comfortable with the world and myself as I had been when I was young. I had left my ego behind entirely, not thinking at all what people were thinking of me, not judging, just playing.
I went out to the hill, drawn by Hanna’s bright blue shirt, which was, ah, glowing. I ran up to a group of friends, running around them in a circle, trying to find a place to sit. I loved rolling around on the grass, digging my hands into the earth, feeling the world and my connection to it. I met a boy named Devon, whose bright blue-green eyes seemed brighter than anything else I had ever seen. It was surreal. Our conversation felt really comfortable, probably because I was being so genuine and sweet. I wandered around a bit, just marveling at the beauty of the world and the feel of the sun.
Eventually, I went to Hanna’s room and played with the people in there. I was so amused by every riddle, every game, every piece of artwork on the walls. I started to see patterns in things. This was about 6pm, when I was peaking. Jesse did the “invisible box”, in which you hold an imaginary box and place it over someone’s head. Everyone is silent and starts mouthing words instead of speaking. When the box is removed, sound returns. It’s crazy when you’re tripping, I can’t explain it. Like whoa.
We later moved to Willie’s room, where I spent time looking at art books in utter fascination. Everything seemed so beautiful. One picture was simply composed of a collage of carpets. One of the carpets had a strikingly different pattern, with human figures. What I saw was a world made of carpet, with that odd carpet being in fact a window to another world, which I could picture in my mind. I could make a story out of any picture I saw, with lots of intricacies and vivid imagery.
After Willie’s room, Jesse took me for a walk to his house. It was chilly, but I could hardly feel it. I felt slouchy and young, kicking stones as I walked, staring at everything around me in wonder. We came to a tree that had a large, low branch protruding at a 90 degree angle. I got excited to climb it, and so we did. I hugged the branch as it swayed up and down, and breathed with the tree. I felt like I was part of the tree, living bark. Ca-razy.
At Jesse’s house, we played with all of his toys. He spun records- music sounded so good, it was inside me. Also, I spent a lot of time looking at his pictures, and glass globes. We stared into each others eyes until it was so intense I had to look away. This was not romantic or anything, just utter fascination with the intensity of eye contact.
After Jesse’s house, Tarek found us and we went to Eclectic. There, I danced like I never had before- utterly uninhibited, feeling the music in every nerve of my body. I danced with Field, a more fluid dual dance than I had ever experienced. Every twirl and dip felt exactly right, and so much fun. I kept taking out cigarettes, smoking a few drags, and giving them away because I got bored with them.
We then headed back to Westco, where I smoked a ton of pot (which prolonged the trippy feelings) and just felt completely at ease in the room. Wit was quick and everyone seemed funny and awesome. The night ended with Julien in my bed. Sensation felt really intense and pleasurable, and just kissing was better than it had been in a long time. I was energetic and snuggly and just plain happy. This feeling of being totally comfortable in my body, and totally comfortable with the people around me, has not left and I don’t think it will any time soon. In many ways, I feel like it connected my childhood with the life I am leading at present- making me whole instead of a refracted mirror image of my former self. I finally “got it”- how ridiculous it was for me to be so concerned about social rules and my long-term goals. The beauty is in enjoying the people you are with, who are never quite as scary or different as you believe them to be, and beyond that, simply enjoying the beauty of life. The smells, the colors, and the infinite amount of stories and patterns that can be seen in practically anything. Amazing…
Not like I would forget it, but it feels nice to capture it in words, even though I can’t do that very well.
Leave a Reply