This is a trembling spin of a time, and lightning trickles in when most inopportune. How to describe my total immersion into seclusion? I wish for warm blankets and beaches and your eyes looking into mine. I wish for laughter and chinese checkers and pauses in time. Somewhere along the way I decided I wanted to keep you all, and I wonder if this is selfish or simply human. Somewhere along the way restlessness became intrinsic nature and splashes of thunder became dangerous and rare. One day soon I will see you and pull you into sand and utter, unadulterated love. I am crackling with life more than ever before and more terrified than I can say. I am terrified I will be forgotten while I am wheedling my hours away in this desolate town wishing I could be adventuring or just laying in a bed of flowers with you. Today I ran to the trails behind the college and wandered serenely through the green thinking of what it would be like to fly and battle demons in the sky. Today I drank coffee with a little boy who is no longer little and scrawled poetry all over his scrap paper. Today I felt hopeless and alive. Today I missed you just as much as yesterday. Today I wished fervently for inspiration, and it came to me in the form of a glass of Merlot.