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how now even coffee sets my stomach to spinning!
i feel light as air, holding the demon captive
in my gut, he howls and scratches inside my ribcage.
by god it is nearly april,
my hands tremble with trepidation,
and bright sun sets red hair afire!
oh keep it captive,
it’s so distractive,
i will write a thousand words a day ’til i die.

oh my love, oh it was a funny little thing…

haunted every night by kaleidescopic dreams:
another time and place, and me suspended in the space
between, familiar faces so demonic as my mind wrings
itself, drips onto tears and tattered wings.
i’d crawl out if i had the right
i’d cry out and claw and try to fight-
you can’t ask what it means
can we go outside?
can we be enclosed in light?
oh god do you love us at all?
are we ok?
are we ok?

Like fire is fury is better is redder is hotter than your molten throat hold it hold it hold it down

Is like hotter fire molten fury it holds better than to hold it down your redder throat is is is is it?

And the rain is so apt.
And my blood is so pure.
And I am fresher and cleaner and hotter and more fiery now. now. now.
And stronger and stronger and stronger and
now:

How do you do. Do you how do? Don’t worry child I don’t love you. Oh look, oh look, they’re coming for me now. Time thinks now it is right to run. And how! And how! Oh wow! And how!

Stop this sentimental nonsense, I am no sensitive girl. I am the taste of metal, the stench of gasoline, the feeling of needles up and down your spine when you’re asleep and dreaming, I am nightmare nighty night personified don’t fight it oh no you don’t!snarl… snarl… It likes to knock things out. Knock me out senseless and defenseless I’ll bounce up like a cartoon cutout to smirk and meep and throw you off the cliff of my heart, and all the pain you gave me stuffed into the dynamite that follows. Acme! Acme! Oh lord it feels good to be released!

It could never be true because he only loves himself.
It could never be true because it is all wrapped in lies and woven with deceit.
My broken heart is more powerful than the small boy’s weakened mouth.
I am the jack of all trades, head back arms open catching rain on my tongue and lightning with my eyes.
Ferocious, tempestuous, and what is it they say?
Much, much too good for you are not well.
I understand do you?
You leave me bitter and unwell and in the dark.
How I love the dark. I will love the dark!
It makes the light so bright.
Another love grows deeper, do I let you in?
You’ll have to fight
your way through
the bloody mess beneath my ribcage.
And touch my face once more, softly.

anahata

Let it come as true things do, eyes wide and senses sharp, hands reaching out and into the dark. Total lack of the last. It came on too fast. Reach for it. Reach for it. Take it. Throw it against walls and through windows. It crashes. It came down through the sound and stirred shit around. The Velvet Elvis and the 3D Virgin Mary sit, ripped and wielding whips, weaving words with their wet whiskers, worn out whispering “we made it, we made it,” Choose to leap or to linger a little longer. At least the dogs smile, fuzzy like furry like funk, crunch crunk. It slides like water glides like matter across mirrors that watch while we rumble and roar. You made it! You’re here! But where does the sound end and where does it begin? We must begin, for you are just seven years in age and not yet in a cage meant to protect your eyes from this HIGH INTENSITY ULTRAVIOLENT LIGHT! It unravels and unveils, valiantly revelling in the reeling vision devoid of precision. You couldn’t know how it would go, it takes its time to unwind, it reaches in from behind to find
energy
and synergy.
Now let it be.

it’s funny how you can make friends in such a short amount of time, isn’t it?
what are you wearing me nothing but a smile!

To Self:

Do you remember the spring? Do you remember how you would fall to the earth, scratch your knees, feel a laugh escape from your gut, losing your breath with the sheer delight of it all? It came back. I watched it and I saw it return. A flash of green from the periphery, leaking onto everything, infusing the edges of the world with depth. It came in as the first clear breath, and you hadn’t even realized how contaminated the air had been!

I would like to inform you that you are now seven. Everything sparkles, fresh clean and new. This time around, don’t forget you are a goddess deserving of kindness.

It is not, Raana, that my song rings highest
or more sweet in tone than any,
but that I
am here a Poet, that doth drink of life
as lesser men drink wine

perfect.

london sucks.