publications

retreat

Running, the pulse skips ahead
of the steps, a beating reminder
of sheer mortality.

Throwing everything out the window:
to be free one must give up
all things, and possibly you.

A challenge with the eyes-
you looked right through as
I walked away.

(unfortunately, profundity was never present anywhere but in my own head)

I refused to kiss you, lay back
in my seat, air drumming;
the moon erased the anonymity
of night, I saw things plainly.
Do you think I am any more magic
than you? I don’t- the sea
marks the edges of my existence.

A falling
in- into a dream, into a story:
a ghost hiding in the corners
of your smile, a whisper
of a moment.

“Things fall
apart; the center cannot hold.”
the truest lines ever written.
in the center of your pulse i feel your fear,
there is a draft in this place too swift to ignore.

neurotica

painted lines float off the road like steam,
the trees are topped with fog.
restless and
without dreams-
in the darkness small doubts crawl
into the veins,
tearing through translucent tissue.

no acts
without thoughts.
no thoughts
without desires.
things creep unbidden into a boiling consciousness.

as hot liquid energy ricochets!
boosting encapsulated electricity! as the
yawning pink dawn light folds around the
verdant songs of morning, to where
they had arisen, where the
day would place them!
-lonely as wind is through barren fields,
tranquil as stillness is
beneath the breath.

this rising sun ignites the tired mind,
rubs the moonshine from my eyes.
Let the sweet silence pervade,
let it hold the day enraptured,
laced with promise.

(this is my whispered
confession: nothing is in
my hands, i am floating and
wind-torn, thinking at the sky,
the castles are turning to cardboard above
my head while the sea crashes to shore,
obedient, always,
to the will of the moon.)

this is an ode to your charming facade.

An incessant pulling
down; there is a silence in sound
i can’t play another note
i can’t stay another minute
if you keep running you will never
be
formed.
if you keep giving you will never
be
full.

territorial…

through my dream last night a woman
crawled, hissed in my ear:

solace
is not for you, salvation is
eternal damnation, nothing
will ever
be
constant,
and more than that

you are broken.

when i open my mouth to scream she bites my tongue.

when i see you all i want to do is chase away all feeling
fuck you for showing up when i least expect you to

here’s to silent, undiscoverable, close your eyes to ward you off, my-
sterious lurking murmur of-
one long year of your looking at me like that is quite
enough, thank you.
don’t
do it, don’t conceive of it, keep
your head above water. The moment you
give in they will hold you hostage!
Today the wind tells you secrets
depend only on your mind.

air, afire

A crash, an immediate silence, a yawning-
the calm air bathes my thoughts
each night I curl up helplessly in the embrace of your memory
yet every time there is a falling
-out, the ground drops away
you swallow a handful of air
the solid ground ripples and waves
ash like a dry skeleton coats your tongue
wings dipped in wine
try not to drown in the air around your feet.

Every time your eyes meet mine,
this is when I fall
-apart, let’s fall apart and shed our skin
close our eyes and breathe fire in.
days spinwheel into night,
sleepless and bright.
Who let the stars in?

Everything burns
like the salt of your sweat on your lips
(and it holds you
like the wind holds you to the edges of things)