I want something from everyone, and everything from someone. Life as I know it hinges on quixotic notions and ways to fill the hole in my soul. Lying in the dark. My breath keeps time with the seconds on the clock, tick tock, tick tock. What am I waiting for?

Loneliness: When you want something from everyone, and everything from someone, but no one wants anything from you

I should stop reading The Anarchist’s Cookbook while sitting in the dark at 2 in the morning. Makes for morbidity…

road trip

total cash: twelve dollars and 47 cents


what i did (continuous list): Maude, thelma and louise/jenny and maude, Andrew, fork bracelet, burritos, bars, sleep, central park on saturday morning, latte and croissant, being asked if i was an artist. too much walking, the upper east side, madison avenue, maude has an orgasm in chanel, Andy, skateboard, the east village, head shops and pet stores, union square, virgin records and bargaining for a one-hitter, Reba, beer and pizza fifty stories above manhattan, sharing cheesecake with lee, the bar train, lowell, ritzy hotel room, violinists, playing guitar in lee’s apartment til 5 a.m., woken by lee at 9 a.m., wandering in the rain, driving to union square, st. mark’s place, to nick in park slope, smoking a j in the park, watching 21 grams, amazing dinner, back to lee’s place, snuggling in my car, chasing rum with chocolate liquour, singing along to everything and passing out all over each other, sleep, wake at noon, taco bell, crazy tripping dude writhing on ground, Italian ice, driving aimlessly and lostedly for the afternoon, driving in killer traffic the whole way to middletown, demetri’s, casino, nice boy with nice body, restful sleep, Boston, beauty, no money, running through the fountain, feeling free, writing, garden, Sam, CondomWorld, more head shops, playing in the fountain again, being photographed while sharing an ice cream cone, dan’s place, pineapple and green pepper pizza, harry potter, yay, meeting boy named felix, think rawr, back to sam’s, falling asleep to daria, wake slowly, am slow, smoking with christin, driving forever, terrific storms, lighting my bowl with a match on the side of the road in a torrential downpour, cake’s prolonging the magic, driving, home, sleep, now.

things i need to survive:
water, my friends, Little Blue, money, a place to sleep, cigarettes and coffee, pen and paper, love, sex

settling in

I want to make a leash for Tweaklet and take him on walks down in the village. I made him a ladder out of popcicle sticks, but he chews on it more than he climbs it. Also I have been feeding him cheerios sometimes. Watching a tiny little dwarf hamster hold a cheerio in his paws and chew it is probably the most endearing thing I’ve seen in a while. I love me some hamsta.

I know I’m at the end of my rope when I start writing in my journal more than I speak to people. Clinton is definitely my idea of Limbo.

Also I have fixed my brother’s yellow Game Boy, and it is mine. Joy and Donkey Kong!

Also I have been reading the book “Extended Massive Orgasm”, which I found in my hallway during Senior Week. It’s pretty fucking cool.

New York this weekend, then (finally) moving to Boston (!).